Jason Vincion
I create tasty brews and ambient music.
Find me on Bandcamp, Ello, Instagram, SoundCloud, Spotify, Twitter, and YouTube.
Contact me at mail@jasonvincion.com.

Diminishing
After being able to find balance, it seems I've been knocked off it a little again by how quickly things have been diminishing in my life.

The first is my weight, as I've dropped about 10 pounds in a week's time, mostly from working like crazy and eating the same amount I had before – I'm back to the weight I was when I first started going to Outlander, though I'm still about 20 pounds above my lowest weight as an adult.

Certain people in my life have become concerned with the amount of weight loss I've experienced, and I must admit too that the quickness in which it has dropped is a bit disconcerting, but I feel fine and the only things I've noticed in how I feel are symptoms of not eating enough, so I should eat more and re-balance my diet.

The second is my interests, as if it's not something related to brewing, music, writing, cleaning, fitness, working on this website, or spending time with people whose company I enjoy, I've lost interest in it (though I realize that's still a fair amount of things) – the only thing that's being rekindled is my interest in photography and fractal art, but that's because I want to use those with my music.

I have found myself looking to read things online and just staring at an empty browser more than a few times, which I suppose is good for not wasting time on the internet, but it still strikes me as a bit odd.

I wrote in Changes that my free time had diminished a great deal, and it seems like it's continuing to do so, as the only time I have to get anything done is in the mornings before work and before visiting with people on the weekends, and sometimes I have to sacrifice sleep to make that happen.

The third is my stuff, as I've finally been going through my things after years of procrastinating, as well as shredding documents that no longer hold relevance and donating items that no longer serve any purpose for me.

I'm a bit ambivalent about it, as on one had it's nice to donate my old things so that other people can get use out of them – on the other, it's hard to get rid of parts of who I used to be.

However, as someone that does their best to live in the present, hanging on to the past is in conflict with that concept and I just have to accept that I can't carry everything with me – and honestly, I really don't want to.

Though I write about it, none of the above especially bothers me – it just strikes me as odd as to how quickly all of it has happened, as my life has been known to move at a glacial pace more often than not.

I suppose in my times of being off-balance, I felt like I was forced to diminish things because I just didn't have time for them – now that I've chosen to diminish them without any regret, I feel fine and have come to embrace the short periods of peaceful silence which come with that diminishing.

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